Tip: Click on a transcript's + button to expand it to its full length. Click the - button to collapse it.
  |  | |  | | | | |   |
| Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next |
| View |
AbatoNet AbatoNet AutoStamp 00:17:54:54-00:13:23:05 Skin: 'Galaxies' 'Aero' 'BlurLine' Targets: [.]XT-34 (blue) [.]Musky-5 (green) [.] "Suspect Station" I (pink) [.] Unknown Ship 325 (red - likely the Mater-1) [.] U.F.O. 27 (white - likely O.A.S.I.S.) (The shuttles and space station are positioned and labeled on Izzy's screen; "U.F.O." and "Unknown Ship" labels are shown, but faded by the "Musky-5", indicated that the three ships used to be close together, but the Musky-5 is (more or less) holding position, while the Mater-1 and O.A.S.I.S. have nearly reached the "Suspect Station") -- Gwynn: Did I just see a fat guy float by? nahhh... Izzy (on the XT-34 monitor): /*Gwynn! Zoė!*/ -- Zoė: *Izzy!* Glad to see you're up and about! Gwynn: We threatened to blow them up with the FIDO-2 if they didn't turn over Torg and Riff. They overshot the ten minutes we gave them but still no response! -- Izzy (over the monitor): *Torg and Riff aren't there!* Zoė: /What?/ Where *are* they? Izzy: I was sure they'd be brought to the station but they're currently floating a few miles away from you for reasons I haven't figured out yet! -- Izzy (on the monitor): I keep replaying the information from the last few hours. There's another ship involved. -- Izzy (on the monitor): What's time-critical is over the last few minutes the station has positioned one of their under-construction flux-satellites to point its DFA /*right at you guys!*/ -- Zoė (looking panicky at Gwynn): Crap! Schlock is gonna flux us! Gwynn (alarmed): What do we do? -- Zoė (determined): We channel our inner Riff. -- Zoė (holding her arms out and closing her eyes): OMMMmmmmmmmmmm.... Gwynn (crossing her eyes): I DUNNOOOoooooooooo.... Izzy (on the monitor; crossing her eyes): Duhhhhhhhhhhh... -- Zoė (winking): The best defense is a big explosion. | The offense is a big explosion. | When you want to sneak away during a distraction, you need... -- Gwynn: A /*really*/ big explosion. Zoė (gleefully): Launching FIDO-2 now! Gwynn: And then we bee-line to the boys! Gwynn (looking dubious): What could go wrong? Izzy (looking grim): Exactly my thought. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Gwynn: What happened? Zoƫ: Sam lost concentration because of... Sam: *YIKES! The monster I saw before!* Kiki: *Torg, Riff /HATES/ me!* -- Torg: **Everybody STOP!** | We've got to get it together people! We're focusing on the little things like hatred, monsters, and mind-control, and letting the big things fly right by! -- Torg: /*LIKE, WHERE THE HELL DID GWYNN GET THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THOSE PIZZAS?*/ Sam: I'm guessing it was from the Halloween party! Cash was flowing like water! Gwynn: What are you talking about! Things were totally slow! No one showed! Donna: Don't be modest! I was there! The one in the sailor suit? It cost my spring-break money to get in but the place was packed! -- Gwynn: You two must have missed the refund rush when the demon never showed! Mindy (removing the dinosaur head from her costume): The demon /*did*/ show up! He *burst* into the bathroom while I was there, and he obviously was having stomach problems, and... *UGH,* /don't want to talk about it. -- Donna: /*Mindy!*/ We wondered what had happened to you! Mindy (angrily annoyed): *Well, I /died!/* -- Mindy: But besides dying horribly, *great party!* Gwynn: Perhaps I should explain. -- (Gwynn has drawn flowers on the whiteboard) -- Torg: *Flower-doodles? A trick! /After her!/* Gwynn: *run away!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Riff (seriously): Relax! I didn't give my dad our exact location. We'll meet him nearby tomorrow morning assuming the coast is clear. So anywho, Queen Siphaniana, you were going to tell us about gods and queens in ancient Mohkadun? -- Queen Siphaniana/Gwynn (picking up the salt and pepper shakers): To understand the place of the gods I must start from the beginning. Always there was no one. Then there was *THE ONE. THE ONE* created... Torg (off panel): *Hold up.* -- Torg: You've already lost me. What happened between the "always nobody" and the "suddenly somebody?" -- Torg (with Zoƫ's elbow jamming into his stomach): *(*)Urk(*)* Zoƫ: Nevermind Torg, Queen Siphaniana. Please continue. -- Queen Siphaniana/Gwynn: As I was saying, *THE ONE* created Prozoato and Kozoaku. The Creator and The Destroyer. The beginning and the end. Labels in front of the salt and pepper shakers: PROZOATO & KOZOAKU -- Queen Siphanian/Gwynn (narrating): "Prozoato was granted the spark of life, and began to create a wonderful world." -- Queen Siphanian/Gwynn (narrating): "Suddenly Kozoaku destroyed it." Prozoato/Salt Shaker: *DUDE.* <***SPLAT.***> (As the pepper shaker splats Prozoato creation) -- Queen Siphanian/Gwynn (narrating): "And a second spark was given. And Prozoato's creations began again." -- Queen Siphanian/Gwynn (narrating): "And again Kozoaku destroyed it!" Prozoato/Salt Shaker: *DUDE! I WASN'T DONE YET!* Kozoaku/Pepper Shaker: *WELL I HAVE MY JOB TOO Y'KNOW. I'M NOT JUST GOING TO SIT AROUND SEASONING FOOD.* -- Queen Siphanian/Gwynn (narrating): "Time after time, Kozoaku would destroy Prozoato's work. *THE ONE* was saddened by this." Prozoato/Salt Shaker (tearfully): *BUT... BUT DINOSAURS ROCKED!* Kozoaku/Pepper Shaker (gleefully): *MY ZOMBIE DINOSAURS THAT ATE THEM ROCKED MORE! I'M GONNA HIT YOUR NEXT BATCH WITH A ZOMBIE-METEOR!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Gwynn: I don't know! -- Torg: Gwynn, we've been over this. You now know beyond any shadow of a doubt that your magic powers are at least in part from *The Destroyer Demon,* and that the demon can use that connection to control you, release him, and /*destroy us!*/ Gwynn: You were about to drive into a tree! *That* would destroy us! -- Torg: I would have swerved the last moment. This is serious. No could you check my GPS and find out where you magicked us to? Gwynn (dropping Torg's Rx Sterizon 'Droid phone): Your phone just locked up! *Ow! Hot-Hot HOT!* <SSss> -- <ssSSss...> (Both Torg and Gwynn stare in shock at the smoldering phone) Torg: What happened? -- Gwynn: Well what you taught me so far about these phones, it seems the new 'Candied Haggis' operating system is overheating your Sterizon 'Droid, draining the battery like a sieve, and causing all the apps to malfunction. -- Panel Caption: *MEANWHILE AT THE NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY...* -- BureaucratalystBot3000: Streaming live video, and audio whether the user knows it or not, every app, every text, every keystroke! *Finally* we have *all* the information! Bureaucrat: Sir! All the 'Roid-based phones in the country have just ran out of power. Some batteries have started fires. BureaucratalystBot3000: Oh. | How can the government keep the people safe without knowing everybody's every action?!? *Make them buy phones with larger batteries!* Bureaucrat: Calling Sterizon now! BureaucratalystBot3000: Use the landline, fool! This call is private! <ssss> -- Torg: Well at least *your* phone still works! Gwynn's Hemmer 'Roid phone: *DING! CANDIED HAGGIS INSTALLED!* -- <**fooosh!**> Gwynn (dropping her Hemmer 'Roid phone): *Eyaah! My Hemmer 'Roid's on fire!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Gwynn (holding a banner that says "To [sic: should be "Too"] cool for Schule"): They were *students,* Torg. -- Torg: /Students?/ -- Gwynn: From the details of Marco's story... And from what they packed... They weren't knights on a mission, or they would have gone through channels. They were students looking to impress their Teutonic magic teachers with an off-campus stunt. And now they're /dead./ -- Gwynn: Except Marco. Gwynn (softly): Please still be alive, Marco. -- Torg (softly): A European high-school for magic. Weird. Torg: I'm in a supply room. No ancient magic artifacts. -- Gwynn: I'm in a bathroom with shower stalls. Nothing else of note. But there's a second room ahead. -- Gwynn: Looks like more gear. Maybe they set up girls on one side, boys on the other and a co-ed bathroom in the middle? -- Torg (holding a box labeled "WATERPROOF MATCHES"): Good job figuring out they were students. Now I've got one for you. They might not be dead. Or they might be /un/dead. Or *alive*-dead. But I know what they really /*are*/-are. -- Torg: Plants. Torg: Have I blown your mind? === NOTE: Ref: "A European High-School forMagic [sic: should be "for Magic"]. Weird" _Torg has no memory of Hoggelrynth_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20080509>. | Flag | ||||
| View |
<***CREEEAK!***> -- Torg: Gwynn? -- Gwynn (giving a thumbs up and smiling): Yep! Completely 100% Gwynn! Now with no scars! And about /two inches taller!/ -- Gwynn (her pupils are now diamonds): Most importantly, I've got *perfect eyesight!* We can save that village now! -- Torg: OK I'm convinced you are you! Gwynn: Of /course/ 'I'm me' you idiot! Back in the wheelbarrow with you! /We're off!/ -- Torg (gingerly): Just let me tweak the battle plan a smidge! -- (The Battle Plan: ***THE NEW PLAN!*** If you are reading this I am probably dead. **STAGE 1: TORG (me) TRAPPED 'TWEEN TWO MAGIC MONSTERS** (Drawing of Captain Botanical (a giant flower)) Label: CAPT. B | Zombie/Plant Demon-Lord (Drawing of Torg in the wheelbarrow, desperately waving his sword) Torg: Tell Zoė I <heart> her! Label: WHICH WAY TO STAB FIRST?!? (Drawing of Gwynn in a witch's hat and the magic speed boots pushing the wheelbarrow) Label: Gwynn. Totally possessed. Worse? | Flag | ||||
| View |
To those whose eyes meet in the room Love waxing with potion consumed And waning with the highest moon/ -- <Tak Tak Tak> GWYNN (Instant Messaging to Kenny/K'Z'K): Kenny, real quick, I just need to double check. I stir counter-clockwise after the batwing but before the toad wart, right? KENNY (IM'ing back): Exactly, but don't leave that potion unattended too long, love potions are notoriously unstable. -- Gwynn: *Zoƫ!* What are you *doing?* Zoƫ (holding onto one of the jars Gwynn was using and about to look into the pot): Just seeing what you're making. -- Gwynn: It's... um... *soup!* Zoƫ (reading the label on the jar and looking despondently annoyed): *"Eye of Newt."* Gwynn: The supermarket was out of bouillon cubes? | Flag | ||||
| View |
=== (Gwynn, battered, is on a computer in a cubicle) Torg: Gwynn! Let's go! What are you doing? Gwynn: This is Mike's cubicle! He was a friend of mine. He's found these financial records! -- Torg: Sure, like you didn't just minimize Solitaire! Gwynn: It was already open! *I swear!* -- (Elsewhere, the Mark 5 and Killum's Hereti-Corp robot are struggling...) -- (The Mark 5 fires a salvo of missiles. Some hit the Hereti-Corp robot, but some miss, exploding elsewhere and causing the cubicle next to Torg and Gwynn to blow up) -- Gwynn: OK, maybe I /can/ speed up a little! Torg: *Quick! Put the three of clubs over there!* -- (The Hereti-Corp robot's right arm is severely damaged by the salvo) Killum: *My turn.* -- (Killum aims the weapon in his robot's left arm at the Mark 5 and powers it up) <**OOOOOUUU**> | Flag | ||||
| View |
Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose): Hold that for now. I think I may have a line on some better information of how to get out of my holiday jobs. If it falls through, I'll get back to you. -- Gwynn: Why are we having this conversation in the bathroom with the shower running? Bun-Bun: I'm being watched. Gwynn: Fair enough. -- Gwynn: I should warn you, Torg and Zoƫ got a letter from Riff asking how Kiki was. They know you didn't mail her to Riff in Alaska. They're pretty mad at you. Bun-Bun: So? -- Gwynn: One of them is going to demand you tell them what you did with Kiki or kick your butt out of the house, as soon as they figure out whose insurance policy covers "injury or death by rabbit" best. Bun-Bun (nose wiggling): That'd be Nerd-boy. -- Gwynn: So what /did/ you do with Kiki? Bun-bun: Let me tell you a story. Footnote: *To be continued...* | Flag | ||||
| View |
<tak tak> GWYNN: I have officially given up on Zoƫ. No more hiding from my magic. You said you could teach me to refine my powers, so what's lesson one? KENNY: What if I told you I've figured out a way to teach you more complicated magic while not only rekindling your relationships with your friends but also getting them to accept you for who you are? -- GWYNN: I'd give you a big kiss! KENNY: Deal! :) Two words; Love Potion. GWYNN: Love potion? KENNY: I'll teach you to make up a batch! You'll learn the basics of potions, and more! -- KENNY: Use some to make Dex fall for Zoƫ. She'll not only appreciate your friendship, but she'll appreciate your magic powers. No more need to hide stuff from her. GWYNN: And I use it to make Riff fall back in love with me? KENNY: Exactly. <tax tak> -- KENNY: don't know what to do about Torg, though. GWYNN: Oh, I'll just use it on him to make him fall in love with his pet rabbit, bun-bun. KENNY: Remind me to never piss you off. <tax tak tak> | Flag | ||||
| View |
(Two of Gwynn's monkey's are shown wielding a pie) Monkey #1: shh -- Zoƫ: *GASP!* -- Monkeys: eee! eeee! (Zoƫ ducks, the pie goes flying towards Mr. Chalmers) -- Zoƫ (whispers): Oh-no. <**SPLAT!**> (The pie hits Mr. Chalmers square in the face) -- Torg (running into the party wearing a cow costume; whispering): Oh-no. Torg: Everybody! Out of the Way! /*STAMPEDE!*/ <rumble-rumble-RUMBLE-**RUMBLE**> -- Male guest #1: Wouldn't there have to be more than one guy in a cow suit to constitute a stampede? Female guest #1: I think someone's tasted too much wine. Male guest #1: Or it is an ingenious ploy to get to the front of the bathroom line! Male guest #2: Wait, do you hear that? <RUMBLE-RUMBLE-RUMBLE> -- Guests: /*Riverdancers?*/ -- <***CRASH!***> <Glug> <Glug> (The herd of cows break through the plate glass windows (doors?), while Torg continues to run through the room; Torg is chugging the box wine he had brought while he runs...) -- <**RUMBLE-RUMBLE-RUMBLE**> (Stampede) -- Jake: ...even more beautiful wearing them. <RUMBLE-RUMBLE...> -- Riff (off panel -- over the walkie-talkie): Torg! Are you OK? Jake (being carried away by the stampede): *help!* <...RUMBLE-RUMBLE...> -- Torg (whispering into the walkie-talkie): Yeah, but I just narrowly avoided death! Jake (still being carried away by the stampede): **HAAALP!!!!** Riff (off panel -- over the walkie-talkie): /*Trampled?!?*/ <...RUMBLE-RUMBLE> -- Torg (whispering into the communicator): No, I tried some of this box-wine and it's terrible. I need the inside of my mouth wiped out! <RUMBLE-RUMble-rumble-rumble> -- Gwynn: I'll take that challenge! -- (Gwynn kisses Torg -- Torg has a horrified look on his face) -- Gwynn (going to put on her glasses): Now, Jake, let's see if you like me better with glasses! Torg (with an even more horrified look on his face): *?* -- Gwynn (now with her glasses on): Jake? -- Gwynn: JAKE?!? Torg (out the door and running down the hall): Run away! === Note: To help me out in my over-busy triple-crunch pre-con mode, Joe's helping me out with this Sunday's coloring! *Yay Joe Sunday!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Fate Spider: Chronicle away! -- Fate Spider/Chronicle: Oasis has had a busy morning. She's murdered five people. She had no choice, they bore the "Hereti-Corp" logo on their clothes, but somewhere in the back of her mind she feels bad about it. | Oasis is wondering how Torg is. | She doesn't know that Torg and Gwynn are on their way to the address of one "E. Driscoll," a scientist who worked on the Oasis file years ago, because Torg is wondering /what/ Oasis is. -- (In a pose reminiscent of the opening to "bROKEN" Torg is standing by the side of the road, his hands on his hips; Gwynn sitting on the other side of the car, in a semi-reclining position, holding a tire labeled "Spare") Torg: Come on! We want to make it to Driscoll's house before lunch time. Gwynn: I've never changed a flat tire before in my life! -- Torg: It's time you learned. You wanted to be my wingman on this since Riff had a breakthrough on his robot-thingy. Being an investigative adventurer requires a lot of hands-on experience. -- Gwynn (scowling): I was curious to know more about the zombies from the lab, but not curious enough to deal with this! Call a tow truck or a mechanic or something! -- Torg: No. I forgot to charge my cellphone last night and I'm saving the batteries to call Riff when we learn the truth about Oasis from Driscoll, assuming she'll talk to us. Gwynn: So you /would/ call otherwise, which means... -- Gwynn: *Ah-ha!* You don't know how to change a flat tire either! Torg: If I had Zombie-Head-On-A-Stick here I could loosen the lugnuts! -- Fate Spider/Chronicle: Once upon a time Torg called Kesandru House "home." | When he proposed to Oasis many years ago, in order to protect Zoƫ from her jealousy, he gave her the address to Kesandru House, and waited for her to arrive. | Now there is nothing left of Kesandru House but this empty lot, and beneath that, Riff's secret underground lab. And Oasis has finally arrived. | Oasis is wondering /where/ Torg is. (Oasis sits on the lot of what used to be Kesandru house; behind her is a mailbox and a hole (leading to Riff's underground lab) in front of a hedge separating this lot from the others) === NOTE: Torg _gives the address to Oasis_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=020218> | Kesandru House _Destroyed_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=070222> | "_Names of the Other Scientists_<http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=090227>" who worked on the Oasis File /uncovered!/ | Flag | ||||
| View |
Torg: Oh crap! -- Sasha (closeup; on Riff's phone screen): Hey guys, I... didn't expect to see both of you! -- Sasha (on Riff's phone screen): I've set the phone up so you can understand what's at stake here. (The phone screen shows them in the hotel bathroom, with Cappy Bo on the back of the toilet, Sasha holding a gun, Gwynn tied and gagged on a chair, with Agent Rontime standing behind her and also holding a gun) -- Riff: /*GWYNN?!?*/ Torg: /*Oh crap!!!*/ -- Sasha (on Riff's phone screen): Don't be mad at her! Gwynn didn't give you guys up, even when I put a gun to her head. | She /almost/ caved when I threatened to dress her like a hobo. Sasha: But then I realized I just needed her thumbprint and her passcode. I used her thumb and I guessed "1-2-3-4" and here we are. -- Riff (angrily): We're not /"mad"/ at Gwynn, Sasha. We're worried about her safety, /duh!/ Torg (angrily): /*Seriously, Gwyn? "1-2-3-4"?*/ === NOTE: And to think all that time Torg spent training Gwynn in _proper cellphone-use_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20140808>. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Caption: Parental Advisory: Today's comic has artwork bad enough to be considered unsuitable for children. Or at least beneath their contempt for what they consider "art." Caption:We now proceed with scripts exactly as written. -- Caption: One month later -- Riff (off panel; from inside Crystal's "BAR"): Zoƫ, good to see you again. What's to report? Zoƫ (off panel; from inside Crystal's "BAR"): Well, Riff, it seems the cloners have... -- Zoƫ: *Ack! Why the hell are we drawn like this?* Riff: The guy who draws this strip messed up his hand. Probably got it caught in one of those credit-card impression machines. -- Riff: Or battling ninjas. Zoƫ: Is this some filler or vacation week? Riff: No, my understanding is the story shall continue uninterrupted. -- Zoƫ (reading paper labeled "skrpt"): So I'll just take it from the "freaking out" line? Riff: Maybe he battled ninjas /wielding/ credit card machines! -- Caption: OK those last few panels were a slight deviation from the original script. -- Zoƫ: This situation is freaking me out, Riff. I wish you lived closer! Riff: Our new apartment is all I could afford since Torg, Gwynn and I are surviving on my babysitting profits. -- Zoƫ: You know, I never pictured you the babysitting type. Riff: To be a good babysitter it just takes patience. Zoƫ: Riff, you have no patience! Riff: Checking my notes... -- Riff: "To be a good babysitter it just takes explosives." Zoƫ: Now *that's* you. Riff: I'm offering 5% on referrals. Zoƫ: I'll refer the creepy cloner geeks for free if you double the explosives. -- Riff: Speaking of them, it's been a month and they still haven't set any evil cloning plans in motion? Zoƫ: They've been setting up all kinds of weird gizmos but that's about it. -- Riff: If we could only hear their phone conversations... Zoƫ: I tried putting the tap in the phone but the earwax has formed an impenetrable cocoon around the handset. -- Riff: Oh my God, Zoƫ, I'm so sorry... Zoƫ: Let's change the subject to something else! Off-limit topics include cheese, feet and lavatories! -- Zoƫ: So you said Torg's been his old self again? Riff: Think the PSPuny has been distracting him and Gwynn from their problems. Unfortunately I'm worried the magic is about to fade. -- (Torg and Gwynn, holding their PSPuny, in front of a "Game Stoop", with kids sitting outside playing with their own, and a sign saying "PSPuny Here Today!" Torg and Gwynn: Look what /*we*/ still got! Kid: Get bent. We've all got one now. -- Gwynn and Torg (hugging each other and sobbing): **WAHHHH!* We lost our home!* -- Torg: Oh well. Time to get a job! Gwynn: *Oh crap, my job!!!!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Kron: He was there when we stormed in, but he fell back it [sic: should be "in"] to shadows and was gone! Magical treachery, us damn it! -- Kron: Siphy! Oh my us, I was so worried the King had killed you! I don't know what to say! -- (Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana throws her arms around Kron and they kiss) <***Smoooch***> Dunuloa: ***Oh Barfff*** -- Kron: I don't care about my father's wishes or the King's rage. I love you and I want to be with you for as long as we can. Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: And I don't care about my place as Queen or what you think my name is or the rules against my magic. I am loveable and will fight to keep us together no matter what. Kron: I /*do*/ care about how bad you smell right now. -- Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana (sulking): Way to ruin the moment. Kron: Well it's kinda gross. What is that? 4 flies worth? Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: /*Three!*/ Krig: Rana, what did you see on your fly-by? Rana: The north of the city burns. The south and west are dead. A few barricaded survivors to the east. -- Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: The north! I have to get to Elder Soco's home! His scroll collections will burn! Dunuloa: There's *no time!* We must lure Kozoaku back to [sic: should be "to the"] place he was summoned! Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: There's also a bath there, I could totally take a bath. Kron: We'll /make/ time for Soco. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Torg: Aw man! The PSPuny came bundled with Fashion RancherĀ® Waifā¢! I was hoping for a kung-fu fighting game! -- (Gwynn's foot barely misses his face) Gwynn: **HI-YAAAAH!** -- Caption: GWYNN - VS - TORG Gwynn: /"Fashion Rancher"/ is /*my*/ turf thus the PSPuny should be /*mine!*/ Torg: Bring it. (Riff sits on the ground behind them looking up as they assume their fighting stances) Footnote: New Battle START! -- Caption: GWYNN - VS - TORG (Riff jumps up, grabbing the PSPuny out of Torg's hand and runs off with it) <*zoOM**> Riff: I'll just hold on to this while you guys fight it out! Footnote: There goes a new challenger! | Flag | ||||
| View |
Crystal: I can't run the bar and serve appetizers by myself. You better find everybody else. -- Gwynn: They all vanished right after the party started! I don't know what they're up to! I can't even find Bert to help! Aylee's hiding in the closet, Beth is hardly getting noticed, and our star attraction is performing in the bathroom! My party is ruined! Crystal: Hold it together, Gwynn. How long am I supposed to be cooking these "poppers" for? -- Gwynn (putting her nose practically onto the book): I'll see if I can make it out. ~demon language~ Crystal: This oven doesn't have a ~demon language~ setting. Hey! That's not a recipe-book! -- Gwynn: *The Book of E-ville? How'd that get here?* Bun-Bun, get this book *away* from me! Bun-Bun: No prob. -- Horribus: /All right, where is Torg?/ Party-goers: *Ooooh!* Horribus: /Answer me or I will destroy you!/ Party-goers: *Yay!* <**CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!**> -- (Tryka and Sweral at the viewing pool) Tryka: Was that a summoning spell? Sweral: Similar. Not sure. What ever it was it affected Lord Horribus. | Flag | ||||
| View |
(Aylee hands Gwynn a small box with a bow on top) -- (Gwynn looks terrified about the present's contents - Aylee's pet centipede Fluffy) -- Gwynn (holding shoe raised above her head): ***EEEEK!*** Aylee: /*What are you doing?*/ Fluffy: ! -- Aylee (scarily angry): *There will be *NO* squishing of my pet Fluffy while you are working for me! In fact, I'm making it part of your job responsibilities to take care of him! -- Torg (in a bathrobe, eating cereal): Bosses suck, huh? Gwynn: I /*hate*/ bugs. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Gwynn: It's a simple charm! The monkeys will be compelled to humiliate whoever angers us! What could go wrong? -- <***DING-DONG!***> -- Gwynn: I didn't think you'd mind if it didn't involve the Book of E-ville! Zoƫ: Then where'd you get this spell? Gwynn: Printed a P-D-F off of evilspellsthatshouldntbetamperedwith dot com. -- <***DING-DONG!***> <***DING-DONG!!!***> Riff (from inside the bathroom; dripping wet): *Can somebody get that?* -- Gwynn: I suppose you have a better idea? -- Riff: *Come on! I just got out of the shower!* <**KNOCK-KNOCK!> -- <***DING-DONG!***> <***KNOCK-KNOCK!***> <***KNOCK-KNOCK!***> Riff: Grumble-grumble. -- Delivery person: Sign here. -- Riff (looking at the box that has holes at the top and is labeled "Caution: Live Animals"): Hmm. -- (Riff peeks inside) -- Zoƫ: How about we just switch their shampoo? -- (view of the shower stall) Monkeys (off panel): **REE!** -- (Close-up view of the shower caddy) Monkeys (off panel): **REE!** -- (Close-up view of the shampoo bottle, which reads: "Delicious Dander | Herbal Shampoo | Banana & Monkey Chow") Monkeys (off panel): ****REE!*** -- (The monkeys leap out of the box that Riff had peeked into -- leaping onto Riff -- particularly his head...) -- Riff (off panel; from inside the house): ***EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!*** -- (outside) Crows: awk. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Torg: He was too fast and we were too mellow. Look, it's apparent that there's some kind of mental and emotional influence going on around here. Sign by the room that they're exiting from: KĆ¼che -- Torg: There's an 'it' out there and it wants us mad and outside. Marco's losing the battle. We're next unless we can figure this out and find the artifact. Gwynn: That's a scary thought. Not being able to trust your own judgment. -- Torg: Well let's keep the rage to a minimum, and above everything else, *stay inside.* If for any reason I get the urge to head outside feel free to restrain me. Gwynn: Maybe I should punch you in the head until I knock you out *now* while I can still trust myself to make the right choice. -- Torg: That's not the right choice! Gwynn (smiling): That's /always/ the right choice! Torg: This is serious, Gwynn. We're not going to survive this unless we're smart about our actions. -- Torg: So let's split up to find the magic death-dealing artifact! -- (They split up and walk away in opposite directions....) === NOTE: In case you were wondering there were _two camping-style lanterns_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20140925> established in the kitchen. | Flag |
 |  | |  | | | | |  |
| Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next |